Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Forgiveness is such a hard topic. Other people can cause the very deepest pain in us. Especially those who are close to us. Especially when a trust has been violated. But the scripture is clear, we should forgive as Christ forgave us. The parable of the unmerciful servant goes straight to the heart of the matter in Matthew 18. It is a good read, please check it out. In a nutshell, God has forgiven us so much, so many times, and so patiently will forgive us again, but we want to withhold the same forgiveness of others when their sin against us is insignificant compared to what we have been forgiven of. Well, when you put it that way it is hard to argue a case for unforgiveness! God forgives us because of Jesus, and Jesus forgives us because he loves us. We can show the greatest love of all when we forgive.
I have found when working with others who have a past hurt that they are trying to deal with, breakthrough almost always comes down to forgiveness. Yes, there was a valid pain that occurred in the past, but the pain that has been festering in their heart and continues to cause issues in their relationships today is due to not being able to release forgiveness to that situation. When we hold on to a hurt, we think that it bothers the other person who hurt us, but in reality they probably aren’t even aware of it and it just continues to hurt us instead. I heard a quote (sorry I don’t have the reference) that said this – unforgiveness is like trying to drink poison in order to hurt someone else, but it just kills us.
Please note that forgiveness does not mean that there are not consequences or that we allow someone to do the same thing to us again. Forgiveness just releases us from having to be the judge and jury over another person; that isn’t our role, we have to let God do that. And when we let go, love wins. Love forgives!
Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.
